dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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