I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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