operation harelip BJ is a go
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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