Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
