I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
