i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
