The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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