So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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