Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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