You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
