Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We named our party play list daddy issues
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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