this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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