yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
