cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
