Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
