so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
