i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
