How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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