"it" just moved
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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