Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
