I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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