she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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