I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
