I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
