Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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