people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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