i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
