I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize