People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize