Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
