I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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