i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Randomize
