Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
