Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
