I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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