dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
