I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
