omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i think i have two assholes
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And my parents said I crawled through the house
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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