I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
