I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
