how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
