I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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