Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
