Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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