I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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