honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
