I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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