I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
