i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
