my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Your cock deserves a montage
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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