We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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