Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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