hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
