I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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