We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
