What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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