would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
