I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
