The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
