omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize