i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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