dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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