You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
